Sunday, 10 December 2017

R.I.P.

I have been putting off making this next post. I just didn't know how to address this feeling at all. First I thought I would make this post only about this, but I felt it would feel too sad to have a longish break and then shove only more sad to your faces. So I'll just throw all the things in this post, all the sadness in the end.

Pleather top - Forever 21
Belt - Second hand
Skirt - H&M
Gloves - Ebay
Choker - Etsy, rowansoriginals
Shoes - Second hand, Demonia

It really doesn't help that I was feeling pretty sad already. Every day seems like a huge obstacle. Part of it is probably the winter depression kicking butt, but I feel that there might be something else too. Today I felt a little bit better since I had time to dress up and have time to myself. I'm also glad that we will have a proper 2 week Yule vacation soon, it's the longest vacation I have had in a year, I can't wait.


I found out that Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds are playing in Pori Jazz festival this summer! I reaaally would want to go see them but I am still not sure if the Lumous Gothic Festival is in the same week. Though Nick Cave is on on a Thursday and I usually go to the Lumous from Friday to Sunday, so it might work out anyway. We'll see!

I also have the Depeche Mode tickets for February and hotel all booked for WGT. All sorts of goodness coming up next year. At least something to look forward on. 


Since a reading bug bit me, I of course needed to get new books to shove in to my bookshelf. The encyclopedia of Demons and Demonology and The Lesser key of Solomon I already have read since I have the pdf files of those. But I felt like I wanted the physical books as well since I keep coming back to those. I have read the most of the Treading the Mill by Nigel G. Pearson, it's a solid good book about traditional witchcraft for those who are unfamiliar with it, or to those who want to deepen their knowledge of it. The Letters from the Devil's forest it up next on my reading list.


Ever since I was a kid, I loved to watch Asterix and Obelix movies when ever they were on, and when I found the comics, I was overwhelmed with joy. I used to spend hours after school at the library, reading Asterix and Obelix, Tintin and Lucky Luke. My favorite character from Asterix and Obelix was the druid Getafix (Fin. Akvavitix). So when I saw this sickle in the final sales of this gothy website, I felt nostalgia, happiness, and realized that it would be perfect for my herb harvesting. Since.. you know... it's made for that.


My new mini SNES! I seriously just got it for the Super Mario World, but there's also the Final Fantasy 3, Yoshis Island and Castlevania, I really want to play those too.

Here's also a recent drawing. I have really been getting back to the drawing board, even though it still feels like I'll never be good enough for me. Might still at least try.



So here it is.
Our family dog died about a month ago and he was really important to me. His name was Ransu and we adopted him in year the 2001, when I was 8. Though my mom thinks it was 2000 so I'm not quite sure. So yes, he was quite an old dog, but he was small and a mixed breed one so it wasn't that strange. He was the best dog I could have ever had growing up.

I saw his end coming. He had not been feeling that well for a while and every time I visited my parents, I feared it would be the last time I get to say good bye to my old friend. And finally the feared phone call came.

Since I knew what was coming, I had some time to process it in advance, but it still hurt. The next week I would constantly break out crying without any warning. Which was hard to deal with, especially at work. Eventually it got better and now it only happens every once in a while. But it still hurts. I'm wiping away my tears as I write this.

And here... Here's a puppy picture of my dear sweet Ransu. Rest in peace, I'll love you always. ❤

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Where's my Fall at?

Samhain is only a week away and I have been such a turd. Normally I would have made many Samhain/halloween/kekri posts like earlier years, but it's just been so hard to do anything. But anyway I'll try not to make this post a complainy one too. Just to summarize: Stress, stress, stress.

For some reason I have been into buying vintage stuff lately. Like this wonderful lace skirt that I have on.
  

I also found this Raven bustier on ebay second hand. For some reason I have been hoarding bustiers recently. I just love how they look on me. This one is not a perfect fit since it's slightly loose, but it's still good enough for me. I'm not quite sure if the scarf goes with the outfit, or maybe if something else would have looked better, but I just felt like I needed the scarf for emotional comfort today.

Bustier - Raven, second hand
Skirt - etsy second hand
Ruffle top - Halpa Halli
Shoes - Fantasy shoes, second hand
Scarf - Second Hand
It's been cold, oh so very cold. Where did my fall go? It feels like the time is slipping through my fingers and there's nothing I can do about it. Yesterday we went to Pori and stored my boyfriends motorbike there for winter. Just in time too since it kinda looks like it will snow tomorrow maybe. I hear there has already been some snow in the inland, I'm happy that it always comes a bit later in these coast cities. 


I also made a order to http://masquerade.fi/ and got the Ritual as a physical CD. I already have this one as and LP and as a digital copy, but you just can't support your favorites enough. Also I still have a habit of collecting CD's. Jacques was so kind to keep me posted all the way through the order and he even sent me an extra Virgin in Veil button! So happy!


Like a week ago also my pre-order arrived! It's the Ukon Pakka - Kalevalainen tarot by Susanna Salo. I adore all illustrations in this deck, it's so gorgeous! I also have a another Kalevala deck already by Kalervo Aaltonen but somehow I prefer this one more. Even though as a occasional Tarot reader I still find it a tad confusing, but I'll get the hang of it!
 

Here are just some of my this years booty of Halloweeny items. Mostly skulls yes. I have more and more but they are all scattered across the apartment and closet etc. Most of the things I got were from Tiger, they had really nice stuff this year! Like the big pumpkin, the bigger skull candles, the drinking cups, the skull bottle, the shot classes and so on.


Lately I have been getting in to Elder Scroll Online again. Also our little tiny century old tv in the bedroom broke. So I dragged my big screen and my PS4 in there and made my little gaming nest in there. And it's nice to watch netflix etc. before going to sleep or collect a bit of halloween items in ESO... Just need my fort of de-stressing right now.

I'll hope to update a little before Samhain time, but if I don't, I hope you have a amazing Samhain or Halloween or what ever floats your boat!

Sunday, 24 September 2017

Wrong Reality

It's been rough. I worked half a month without having a day off. For now I decided it would be best not to take any extra work or I might die. The thing is, I just don't need all that money. 

I mean sure money is nice and I love buying new clothes, games, books and such. But it's also kinda depressing that I have no time to wear, play or read anything. 

I used to love dressing up even if I was just going to the store or lounge around at home. Now it kinda just feels like when I do it, that I could use that time to sleep or just rest. Hence the dramatic decrease in blog posts. We have work clothes at work and I have to keep my hair tied or I will get glue all over it. So there's really nothing much to see.

You might think it's a easy life. Not having to take care of my looks. But the truth is also that it makes me so depressed. I have the need to express myself. I have no time to dress up, not to paint, not to draw, no nothing. It's making me sad and unsocial... Even more than usual.

I'll try to balance this somehow so I could also blog more. Because I really want to do that. At least no more working overtime this year.


Anyways, now we have at least a few days off so I decided to dress up. Even tough I almost gave up half way through. I got this vintage velvet dress from etsy. Isn't it magical? It even got it's own cape sewn on it.


Taking pictures on the balcony has been impossible lately. Either the sun is all wrong or it's way too windy. Our apartment is a bit cramped and it's so annoying.


My boyfriend decided to splurge a bit and buy the VR headset for PS4. I had such a fun time watching him play with it yesterday and I'm hoping I will have a turn today or tomorrow. I also bought the drinks for an extra fun VR time!

Saturday, 5 August 2017

Velvet wings

My short summer break is already ending. I'm going to have to start my next work week tomorrow with a night sift. I have never had a night sift before and I'm kinda sure I'll just fall asleep at some point. We'll see. At least I have to stay up until the early morning tomorrow so I can try to adjust a bit, probably just gonna end up falling a sleep on the couch with a controller in my hand.


This vacation time I have mostly just been loitering. Like always. 
Lollygagging. 
Playing Witcher 3 still.

Took our cat's and we went to visit my mother-in-law in Pori. I finally got the time to go around the flea markets over there after a half a year break. I cycled 20 kilometers that day and found only a few things, nothing exiting. Kinda have to admit I was disappointed. Anyway, flea markets are what they are, they aren't always full of goodies. Maybe next time.

Velvet Shrug - Kitsune Couture, Dark Market
Velvet skirt - Tokmanni
Leather top - Flea market
Belt - Ebay
Shoes Second hand
Gloves - Ebay

I got this velvet shrug from the Lumous Gothic Festival's Dark market. The seller's business was called Kitsune Couture. Always so happy to support Finnish small businesses. But oh my, it was the fabric that drew me in. Velvet with floral patterns, can I just have everything in this fabric.  And anyways I was looking for a shrug like this so it was just perfect!


I ordered a few shirts from La Decay / Bat-cave Productions. There is sooo many I would had wanted but I just had to settle in these for now. For some reason I ordered them in men's size M. I thought maybe I would diy them somehow, but I just can't get my mind to decide how.
  

I think I forgot to show you these things I got from the medieval fair in Turku Some time ago. The Mallevs Maleficarvm also called the "hammer of witches" has been in my to read list for ages and I'm so glad I finally got a copy! The rune book also called out to me, as well as many other books there, but I just couldn't take everything, choosing is hard. I also got a poison bottle, a belt bag and a carved bone pendant.

Hope everyone has had a great summer. I'm so glad about fall approaching too, and Samhain times!

Friday, 21 July 2017

Lumous Gothic Festival 2017

Once again we ventured to the Lumous Gothic Festival in Tampere! My boyfriend was supposed to join me and my friends but he ended up being stuck at work after all. Anyhow it was pretty cool to have a hotel room all to yourself. I could spread all my stuff all around and no one cared, ahaha.

This year I also was somewhat lazy at taking photos, but here's some anyway.
For the first time in ages I also wasn't wearing a wig while going out! My hair's gotten pretty long.

Chain Harness - Aliexpress
Leather top - Flea market
Bondage belt - Ebay
Shoes - Demonia, Second hand
Skirt - Flea market

Here's the outfit for the Friday club night. And it was taken afterwards, just before going to sleep. Tipsy and stuff. The bands this night were not really in to my taste but oh well. At least Spiritual Front was decent for dancing.

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen
 https://www.facebook.com/TomiVitikainenPhotography/
 Saw Leena!

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen
https://www.facebook.com/TomiVitikainenPhotography/
Also hang out with Miss Chaos for a while. Not enough though. :'(

Photo by my friend.
On Saturday morning before the Dark Market, we decided to visit the Sky Bar, which is a bar on top of a Hotel. The view was nice, the drinks were on the expensiveish side but not so expensive as at the Lumous club...


I can't for the sake of my life remember what was this drink called but it was good. 


It's weird being so high up. Brain constantly sends mixed messages, wtf you doing, dis not right.

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen
https://www.facebook.com/TomiVitikainenPhotography/

All melted and messy at the Dark Market lol. 


This is most of the loot I got from the Market. I also got some tops but I'll show you those in good time. The rune necklace I actually got form a Pagan market that was partly happening in the same time as the Dark Market. I found my favorite album form Siouxsie and Banshees and I'm so happy about it!

Pvc Corset - Second hand
Collar - Etsy
Skirt - Moonmaiden Clothing
Bracelets - Ebay/Flea markets
Gloves - Ebay

Saturday club outfit! This was also taken afterwards so I'm a bit of a mess. Messy mess all around!


The band I was really looking forward on was Nachtmahr. They did a great show and really knew how to keep the audience alive! 

We didn't stay for the The End club on Sunday on this year either. I had to get up really early on Monday for work. But anyway I had a really nice time and I'm really looking forward on next year!
---
Lately things have been changing around at work and it has been exhausting really. I'm still suffering from sleep deprivation and staying up late last weekend really didn't help much. Not to mention I have to work tomorrow, on a Saturday. Hooray. 

Also this post is a bit of a mess since I'm so sleepy, I can't think even. I should be sleeping right now too. BAH! 

Sunday, 18 June 2017

Skinny Puppy, Cat Café and Shopping

Few days ago on Friday, me and my friend traveled to Helsinki to see Skinny Puppy. They were just amazing live and I'm super happy we got to see them so close. A bit sad that they didn't allow even digital cameras on the venue so I had to leave mine to the cloakroom, but if that's what the band wants I suppose it's only fair.


I was really super sleepy the whole Friday. I had to wake up to work at 4am and right after work I had to hurry to the bus station and sit in the bus for 3-4 hours. Then hurry up and get to the hostel and get the makeup on and the clothes on and then navigate to Tavastia. I'm also forever sad that I forgot to get some cash so I could had bought the tour shirt, but I suppose I'll live.
 

I had a really nice time in Tavastia. If you don't mention some crazy people who really didn't seem to take other people in consideration at all while they were in a fanboy high or something. But I eventually found a calmer spot where I could just enjoy the music and performance, and not have to worry about people's elbows in my face. 


On Saturday we had some time before our bus and train would leave so we did a bit of shopping around Helsinki! I was so happy to do this since I live in a tiny city now, and you just can't shop here. Not even second hand shop, it's terrible. But after some second hand shops we ran in to the cat cafe Helkatti! First we thought that you'd probably need a reservation to get in there, but we tried anyway. So luckily they had some space as we arrived and we got in! 
  

They have 8 cats and they were adorable. Though we didn't really manage to see all of them. We mostly played with this girl, I think her name is Tuli, super playful and friendly but not really keen on petting. I ordered a club sandwich, and you can choose two topping for it, and so I chose mozzarella and marinated red onion. I have to say, even though it was the most expensive sandwich I have ever eaten, it was also the best one!

I do highly recommend the Helkatti cat cafe but definitely make a reservation. I saw so many people get turned away at the door because they were full. It's also a cafe you want to take your time with, at least an hour.  


After the cafe my friend spotted a record store. I just had to get in there to browse the used cd's section. I took a while but I found these gems among the clutter. There were also so much LP's I would had loved to browse all of those too but our time kinda ran out. Maybe next time.


Earlier in the day we browsed some mainstream shops like H&M and Gina Tricot and I picked up these items. Pusheen payjama pants (shuddup, I love pusheen D: )and the laced up crop top are from H&M. The waist belt and the lace crop top is from Gina Tricot. 

I did also do some amazing finds from a flea market we went to. I found a Spin Doctor jacket and a HUGE FLUFFY Victorian'ish skirt from Sinister. Which I love to bits, tho I can't fit it in my wardrobe and it was a real pain in the ass to haul all the way home. But you'll see pictures of those pieces eventually, maybe around Lumous Gothic festival..? :')

Sunday, 11 June 2017

It's Okay To Be You

What's this now? Two posts in one weekend? I might have gone mad.
Well I guess I just liked today's outfit.

I adore this vintage leather bodice, or whatever, I found from the flea market a long time ago. I would love to wear it all the time. Only the problem is that it was a bit too large and the front plastic boning was crazy warped. As you can even make out from this picture I took this morning. 

I took it in some time ago so the fit is much better now, but the bones were still warped. So this evening I decided to do something about it. I took out the two front bones, and now I can't wait to wear the top again soon since it looks so much neater and smoother! Would hate to waste good leather.

Vest - diy, flea market
Bodice - Flea market
Belt - Ebay
Skirt - Second Hand
Undershirt - H&M

Lately I have found the love for bodice/bustier type tops. But it's so damn hard to find ones that go with my body. The other clothing thing that I have fell in love with recently is mermaid/fishtail skirts! At the moment I only have one velvet one what I bought recently. Need. more. Gimme,

But anyways, this was a chill day. Played a ton of Stardew valley, busted out ye olde sewing machine, watched some youtube videos... Just trying to get a little bit of the stress off before work starting again very early tomorrow, ugh.


I haven't done Magical Unicorn Oracle card draws in months, but today felt like the day. And I feel like this was a good draw, just what I needed.


"It's Okay to Be Different - You don't need to be like everyone else. You're perfect just as you are!"